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Sunday, December 9, 2007

10 Best Christmas Shows of All Time

Amazon.com: The Original Christmas Classics (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town/Frosty the Snowman/...


When you are Ranking the Best Christmas Shows of All Time you always have to include some from the masters, Rankin & Bass. These two claymation geniuses, along with writer Romeo Muller, raised the bar for Christmas specials back in the '60s and early '70s and no one's been able to touch them since. I would love it if someone would make a special that even comes close to their brilliance, but it doesn't happen. Their best always combined four essential elements: great songs, good stories, tight scripts and a fun time. The bad guys are real bad, but never overwhelm the fun and spirit of the stories, and Rankin & Bass never rely on corniness.
I do not include holiday episodes of regular TV shows, because they should have their own list. For the record, the early Happy Days episode when Fonzie lies about visiting relatives might be my favorite.
As for the specials I've picked: I love them all, own some of them, try to watch all of them at least once a year and quote them with friends from time to time.

1-Santa Claus is Coming To Town--First time I saw this I was probably 4 and I remember my parents got my brother, sister and I bathed and dressed for bed before the show, so we could relax and watch it before we went to sleep. My father put us up on the top bunk of me and my brother's bunk beds and propped the 13-inch Black and White TV against the pillow so we could all watch together. Favorite Quote--"A yo yo, I love a yo yo."

2-Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer--Came out in 1964, two years before I was born, so obviously I don't remember a time when this wasn't on TV. The first of Rankin & Bass' oeuvre and some would say the greatest. But I've always had a problem with the depiction of Santa as a grouch and essentially a terrible user. He discards Rudolph until he can use his malady to his benefit. Like using a deaf person's lip reading skills to win a football game. The outsider that children wouldn't play with always resonated with me and made me feel a special kinship with Rudolph. This show has the best songs of any Christmas special. Favorite Quote---"Whoever heard of a skinny Santa."

3-Frosty the Snowman--This show is so short that barely after the credits roll, the little girl, the magician's rabbit and Frosty are already on the train to the North Pole. Jimmy Durante (a native of my hometown of Ridgewood, NY) is the narrator and I love his croaky voice. Favorite Quote---"and when I melt, I get all wishy washy."

4-A Charlie Brown Christmas--According to Saturday Night Live, this is Jesus' favorite Christmas special, which figures because it's one of the few that actually pays homage to Him and His birth and not the paganism that we've attached to the holiday. It's the most beautiful of all Christmas specials, but so serious. The Vince Guaraldi music is so warm and classy that listening to it feels like watching snow fall from inside a window with a blanket and cocoa. Favorite Quote---"Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!"

5-Year Without a Santa Claus--Mickey Rooney does his second special as the voice of Santa Claus, but this time he's depressed and he tells his wife, "Ma, I'm canceling Christmas." But we don't see too much of Santa for this special anyway, the true stars are the immortal Heatmeiser and Freezemeiser. Their two songs are probably the most fun to sing of any of the shows on the list and always cause some adults to dance in a kickline. Favorite Quote---"Vixen, why she's just a baby."

6-How the Grinch Stole Christmas
--Who better to play a despicable, scary creature like the Grinch than Boris Karloff. Just one of many inspired choices for this classic. So poetic, so letter perfect, so dark. The story demands it, but this show is too dark to be any higher on my list. I feel so bad for the little dog, of course it all comes out in the wash, but there's a lot of weight to carry before the beautiful pay off. Favorite Quote---"Little Cindy Lou Who, who's no more than two."

7-Rudolph's Shiny New Year--Rudolph hooks up with a caveman and a whale to find the Baby New Year and save said year. One of my father's favorite comedians, Red Skelton, narrates it and does a number of voices in the show. I love the special, but don't remember as much of it as the others, except for my favorite part, when the Baby sneaks into the Three Bears' house. The baby bear is one of my favorite characters in history as voiced by Mr. Skelton. With the cutest lisp, he says my Favorite Quote---"You can be my fwend."

8-Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol--Oh Magoo, you've done it again. Our nearsighted Broadway star portrays Scrooge on stage and the story is told in the form of a show, with curtains and acts and all. Weird way to handle it, but still a treat. Favorite Quote, as with any Christmas Carol---"Are there no workhouses? Are there no prisons?" LOL, How mean.

9-Frosty's Winter Wonderland--Frosty is lonely up at the North Pole and finally gets married to a snowwoman named Crystal. Every one of the best of these Rankin & Bass specials has a great narrator and this show might have the best, Andy Griffith. His voice is like warm honey and he delivers this special with remarkable ease. Can't a remember a favorite quote.

10-House Without a Christmas Tree--Takes place during the Depression I believe, or at least some poor time in the 20th century. Watched this made for TV movie every year when I was kid and then it disappeared. Definitely the most depressing show on this list, but has a wonderful ending. 1972 movie stars Lisa Lucas as Addie Mills, a 10 year old girl who lives with her very grumpy widower father, Jason Robards. Actually he'd have to smile more to be just grumpy, he comes across as downright mean to a little kid. But he's just really sad and angry over the loss of his wife and doesn't know how to deal with it. So instead of making things better, he makes them worse by hiding away any happiness the woman left behind. Like her Christmas ornaments. Addie doesn't know they exist and tries to make a nice Christmas by making handcut ornaments for a tree that she sneaks home. But mean old Jason Robards drags the tree out to the curb. The first three-quarters of this film are hard to watch, but the last 30 minutes make up for it. Not sure how I'd react to this movie if I saw it now. Don't remember any quotes.

The Freditor

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Oh my god, is this awful--The Paul Lynde Halloween Special

*** (out of 5)

Netflix: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special



My friend Harry warned me, but I had to see this 1976 car wreck on my own.

I gave it 3 stars because, a--it was good for what it was, a horrid '70s variety show;
and b--it had 3 songs by KISS.

But I would have thought with all the B-wattage star power that this would be a camp classic, but instead it was just bad.

Betty White, Pinky Tuscadero, Tim Conway, Florence Henderson---singing disco, Donny and Marie Osmond, Witchy Poo, The wicked witch of the west (Margaret Hamilton from the Wizard of Oz), apparently none of these people had any shame. And it was co-written by one of the biggest hacks in Hollywood, Bruce Vilanch, the man who writes all those awful Oscar jokes each year and is Whoopi Goldberg's main writer.

I remember loving Paul Lynde as a kid, but maybe my memories are misplaced. One lame joke after another. He plays the Easter Bunny, a rhinestone trucker, a Sheik. I looked up Wikipedia, under the phrase Gay Mistrel Show, it had a picture of Paul Lynde.

One tremendous douche chill after another, but what's worse is it made me sleepy.

The entire cast finishes the show with a Halloween disco scene where they all sing and dance to a made up song, Disco Boogie. Excuse me, I have to shower now and wash all the bad thoughts away.

The Freditor

Thursday, November 1, 2007

"We are Experiencing the New Golden Era of Television, Enjoy It"

That was a quote from a winner at this year's Emmy Awards and I would have to agree with him.
Television has risen to the top again for the first time in 50 years because of one thing---WRITING. The writing has been fantastic. The writer is the architect in the building of any show or movie. Without good writing, at best you have a great spectacle, but little to remember it by. We cling to words in our collective memory.
People have always loved to use quotes in regular speech. Sometimes it makes them feel smarter, but mostly it helps the listener share the experience with them. In the old days they quoted from great scholars or poets or playwrights. The Bible and novels were always popular. But over the last 50 years we are more likely to quote from song lyrics, movies and TV. But song lyrics are becoming harder to quote from because no one listens to the same music anymore. And not to sound old fashioned, but how much modern music is worth quoting? "The Thong Thong?"
Movies?? I see as many movies as anyone, but the writing is becoming more mediocre every year. Forget about quoting from any movie released in the last two years, just staying awake sometimes is an achievement. What movies are most quoted from in the last decade? I can name only two--Shrek and Office Space.
But TV has entered an era where the writer is king. A time when all the good writers seem to be gravitating toward it. Sure they have 22 hours a year (if they are lucky) to flesh out a character and make them come alive for the audience, while a movie writer has only 2 hours to make us like the character, root for him and at best want to be like him. But movies used to be able to do that, why can't they anymore? When I was a kid, I wanted to be Billy Jack or Taylor from Planet of the Apes. Is there any movie character a kid wants to be now?
What's funny is that TV has been doing the movies' job even better. Has there been a better action movie made in this millennium than the action on 24? Has there been a better cop movie than what we see weekly on The Shield? TV takes a million chances that movies are afraid to take. And not just the kind of chances that will get them in trouble with the FCC, but with the Christian Right and Scientologists and the White House.
My friend asked me a while back if I ever get that feeling coming out of a movie of being on a dopamine high? The feeling I got when I walked out of Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time? I said to be honest it's been a few years. But I get it from time to time while watching certain TV shows. A feeling of giddiness, where I turn off the lights and go to bed feeling so good, so pumped up that it's hard to get to sleep.
Here are the shows that I've become quite fond of over the last year(s).


24---Two of my favorite characters in the fictional world Flash Gordon and Jack Ryan (from the Tom Clancy novels like Hunt for Red October) are married here and have given birth to Jack Bauer. He gets into impossible situations every week and uses his guts and smarts to get out of them, all the while saving the world from some major catastrophe. I wish they'd lose the love interest angles, because they generally slow the show down and are the least real elements. Plus Jack (Kiefer Sutherland) is always paired up with the most manly shemales in Hollywood. Thankfully, his daughter is off the show, because she was really starting to strain credibility, as well. Season 5 might have been the best since Season 1.

The Shield---Better than 24? Hard to say. 24 has the bigger budget and 24 episodes to fill out, while The Shield only has 13. 24 has to stay within the FCC's strict controls, while The Shield can run amuck. I'll give them a tie. Like all my favorite shows from the past, I'm not interested in them beating out Gunsmoke for longest running show. I'd like to see them go out while they are still on top. Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond went on 2 years too long, I hope The Shield and 24's creators pull the plug before that happens.

Boston Legal---Great fun. Probably the most fun dramatic show in the history of television. It takes on big and small problems in society on a weekly basis and finds the humor in so many of them. Sometimes not. Like when they asked a retarded man on death row to scream bloody murder to show that capital punishment is both cruel and inhuman. (I don't agree with their stance against capital punishment, but I don't have to agree for these writers to make a compelling argument.) James Spader plays his character to the hilt, but the cream of this dessert is the reawakening of William Shatner. His character is supposed to be the biggest ham in the legal world and who better to play it than the biggest ham in the acting world. Perfect match.

Grey's Anatomy---The creator of this show is a 36 year old black female doctor. Yet, although its lead characters are mostly women, it's hardly a girly show. It has soap opera elements but virtually every show on television now has soap opera elements because they are almost all serialized in nature. ER might have been better when I originally watched back in '94, but I stopped watching it because it became way too depressing and serious. Life is not like that and neither is medicine. If everyone died going to a hospital, no one would ever go.

The Office---Started off well in Season 1, took off like gangbusters in Season 2. Loved the British original, but this American version has become its own animal. It got rid of the things that didn't work in Season 1 (that were so successful in Britain), like the loooong, embarrassing pauses. American TV is snap snap snap. Pregnant pauses are fine when there are only 4 channels to pick from, but in a world of 300 channels they are competitive suicide.

Rescue Me---Came to the party late on this one, like so many other shows, discovered it on DVD and love it. Usually hate Dennis Leary, but he's very convincing here as a hero to the world and a lot less to his own family. His costars are all great. Wonderful, salty dialogue. Real New York Irishness with all the good and bad that comes with that.
Real Time With Bill Maher---Does Maher hate Bush--Yeah. Does he hate America--Hardly. He has a bit of an agenda, but if you can skip past his anti-religious stance, you can hear some of the most potent thoughts on America today. Great antidote to the milquetoast, rah-rah, don't want to upset the Republicans newscasters. Maher gives great leeway to his conservative guests unless they get too crazy with their spinning nonsense. You might enjoy The Daily Show more, but that show doesn't go far enough for me. Maher is pure vinegar to the DS's dry wine.

Weeds---Cool, funny show about a pot-dealing soccer Mom. Pushes the envelope for even cable TV. I can see people getting very offended by this show, which I'm sure helps me enjoy it. Actually, the least interesting character is the star Mary Louise Parker, it's the surrounding players that make it sing. Specifically her ne'er-do-well brother in law, Andy, played by the hilarious Justin Kirk. What happened to him last week was very wrong and very funny. "Does it have to be black?"

Desperate Housewives---Season 1 was fantastic. But they started killing off too many great characters and like The Sopranos the ones they replaced them with were just not as interesting. Hopefully, Season 3 makes a big turnaround, but it looks like we'll be waiting for the DVD release to find out, as we are turning back to an old Sunday night favorite, Family Guy.
My Name is Earl---Started off with a bang last year, but somewhere in the homestretch lost its sense of humor. Jamie Pressley's queen of white trash, Joy, is a comedy treasure to behold. Possibly the funniest woman on TV. Hopefully, Season 2 gets back on track.
Curb Your Enthusiasm---Seinfeld's cynicism without the chewy center. Very funny, but loses me a little when Larry becomes too Archie Bunkerish. Works when the reality is overwhelming. When it's not it becomes shtickish. No one at his station in life and with his liberal background could be that clueless, especially when it comes to black/white issues.

Commander in Chief---Started off great, but started losing its grip when they fired its creator, Rod Lurie (The Contender) halfway through the season. Never had a chance because for some reason people genuinely dislike Geena Davis. A very good actress who bombs in the movies and now has had two shows canceled before they ended their first seasons. Good cast, good writing. Good fun for people who didn't care for the piousness of The West Wing.

The 4400---Season 1 was fantastic, Season 2 drooped a little, but made up for it in the second half of the season. Waiting for Season 3 on DVD. A lot of these new shows have great build-up to these unbelievable finales, but they rarely materialize. I don't watch Lost, but I have a feeling that that will be a big letdown. I'm hoping The 4400 is not like that, but I'm guessing it will be.
Family Guy---Yes, it's lost something off its fastball, but it still has other pitches to keep the audience off balance. Last night, Peter getting paid by the Park Ranger to shiv Yogi Bear in front of a shocked Boo Boo was almost too wrong to laugh at. But as always it still has those kind of water cooler moments.

The Sopranos---Does anyone care anymore? Season 1 (1999) made me watch television again. Season 2 was just as good, but since then it has gotten progressively worse. Rather than enjoying it, I feel like I'm rooting for it to make a big comeback like George Foreman. But I think the creators are flushed out of ideas. Every season they are good for maybe 3 good shows out of 12 and then a big letdown. Season 6 will be either a bottom of the ninth game-winning Grand Slam or Mike Piazza popping out to Bernie Williams. Unfortunately, I'm betting on Piazza.

Saturday Night Live---What a big comeback this show made this year. I was the only person who saw it from talking to my friends, but it was their loss. I think I saw every episode on Tivo and while there were some stinkers there were some gems. Among the guest hosts, returning vets like Tom Hanks, Jack Black and Steve Martin had so-so shows, while Alec Baldwin and Lindsay Lohan had very good ones. Women really did well this year. Eva Longoria, Catherine Zeta Jones and especially Natalie Portman had great episodes, while Scarlett Johanssen was blahh. I had never heard of comedian Dane Cook before, but his show was so good, I became a fan. The cast had some good newcomers, especially Kristin Wiig, who did some of the best impressions this side of Phil Hartman, including Judy Garland, Megan Mullaly, Felicity Huffman and Katherine Hepburn. Tina Fey held it together as head writer, but it all might go south now that she has left to star and produce her own sitcom called 30 Rock. At 32 YEARS OLD, this show is the post-nuclear cockroach, nothing will kill it because no show has ever challenged its dominance. Mad-TV is on the air 10 years and few people can name one cast member from that entire period.
The Boondocks---Based on the tough, black comic strip. This show is not that great, but it is very memorable. My biggest problem with it, is that it sometimes is misguided. It needs maybe a less dark view of the world. It is definitely the darkest show on TV that I watch. Possibly the most disconcerting thing about the show is its use of Peanuts-style background music. That lilting piano prepares you for Snoopy dancing or Charlie Brown staring up at the clouds, not shooting BBs at and stealing toys from a department store Santa. The kids in the show, Huey Freeman and his brother Riley, are living in a very nice suburban community, but are ungrateful to their grandfather or the surroundings they are growing up in. It is almost impossible to feel sorry for them or root for them. Although creator Adam MacGruder hit it on the head when he brought Martin Luther King back to life in modern day black society. That episode was very perceptive.

Bernie Mac---This show started off well. With Bernie's brand of parenting drawing big laughs from me. But then it dissolved into the Cosby Show and I lost interest. America, I stopped watching.


The Freditor